TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
