And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
