I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
