Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
