So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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