I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
