addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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