Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
