D3 body, D1 cock
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
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