is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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