; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
