Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
