hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
