he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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