What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
