Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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