there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
