this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
