Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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