i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
