I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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