You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
