Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Randomize
