I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
