OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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