I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
