According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
