we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
