like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
