So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
