Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
