That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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