bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
