This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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