you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize