Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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