I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
