For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
