I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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