My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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