I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
too bad you live with your parents still
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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