How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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