It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Damn victory sex feels great
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
