Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
