super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Acid is not a monday night drug
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
