you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
