never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
