Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
