I'm jealous of your bromance
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
