HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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