She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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