i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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