You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
