dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
