No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
