Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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