Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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