fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize