Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
