so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
