beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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