Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
