Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
